Autumn breezes

Happy birthday, Rissa.

For weeks I have been remembering. At first, just this unsettledness. Fall breezes, fall colors, fall smells. A favorite time of year filled with so many lovely memories–why this agitation in my heart?

But you were diagnosed in September. And now, your birthday is here.

The flavor of fall has changed a bit.

I could easily focus on the bitter parts of it, the tears and pain and sorrow. I could easily wallow in all the ways I’m missing you.

But instead, I am remembering your heart. I remember your joy in living, always the first one to suggest a fun outing or a family gathering. Your love for others, your longing to help. Your willingness to get involved with people. Your passion, your calling, your pursuit of God. Your friendship and the delight of having you near.

I remember all the layers of you.

I happily gather all the memories, cherishing your life and all the days of having you here.

Even the hard days. The sick days. The dying days. Part of your story, but just a small part. Your life continues, beautiful and eternal and orchestrated by a gracious, sovereign God.

The valley of tears is ended for you, and you sit at the feet of the One who redeems and restores and rights it all.

I love you forever, Rissa. Happy birthday!

4 thoughts on “Autumn breezes

  1. Such a comfort knowing that someday, and already for Marissa, He will wipe away all these tears. Rev21:4 Yet, meanwhile, it’s so easy to forget that He notes each one, keeping them as though in a bottle, recording them in the records of His heart. Weeping with those who weep. Ps56:8 And someday—what a delight–“IT WILL BE WORTH IT ALL!”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you what you shared had touched my heart comfort for Greg entered eternity at the end of this month and I too could wallow in the grief of missing him. This has encouraged me today.


  3. Remembering your lovely, sweet, thoughtful daughter with you today. I love to read your thoughts and memories. They bring Marissa back and give “life” to her and yet, we both know she is more alive now than ever before! Thank you for sharing your journey, Colleen. You are a wonderful mother and were exactly the right woman to mother Marissa and walk alongside her on her earthly journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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