We received some discouraging news last night.
We were all hanging on until today when Marissa would get her PET scan and final diagnosis. It felt like some sort of finish line before the next race began. It seemed like we could relax a little, breathe deeply for the first time in three weeks when it was over. The fear that the cancer has spread would be settled. Then yesterday we received word that our insurance had denied the test. So now we will be waiting another whole week for two other tests to give us similar information.
A week isn’t a long time. A week flies by. Except when you’re waiting to see if your daughter’s cancer has been “upgraded” from a curable stage to the next one. The one we don’t want to think about.
Optimism is different than trust. Hope is different than trust. Trust is anchoring ourselves in God’s sufficiency. It is actively letting go of anxiety. It is resting in His providence. It is feeling safe in the midst of turmoil.
So we are speaking truth to ourselves. We are not trusting in test results, statistics, or words of men to ease our anxiety. We are trusting in the perfect providence of God.
Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. (Psalm 143:8)