Many people have commented on our transparency through this journey. And I wonder why it is surprising for a person to admit his struggle in the walk of faith. It seems like the alternative would be lacking in honesty. It doesn’t feel right to mask the pain or conceal the sorrow. Where is the truth in that?

It’s a beautiful weakness to admit we need Jesus. We need Him to redeem our lives, but we also need Him to redeem our days and each of our moments. It is those who are sick who need a physician, and it is the broken who cry out for healing. It is the weak ones who need strength.

And they are the ones who receive it.

I remember with perfect clarity a moment shortly after Marissa’s diagnosis. A burning question raged and it wasn’t “Why me?” but “Are you sure, Lord?” Because it didn’t seem like there was any way we could do this. It didn’t feel like we would have any ability to glorify God. Didn’t He understand how weak, how sinful, how incapable we were of walking down this path? Didn’t He see my heart and its tendency toward self-love and shallowness? Didn’t He know how I had failed Him before and would fail Him again? Didn’t He know me?

Are you sure, Lord?

Our tendency is to cover up our messy prose with bits of pretty poetry. I do that, too. We protect our testimony by putting our best foot forward. It seems so noble, but how can people bear a burden they cannot see? How can Christ shine through if the story is about us and our ability to hold it together?

Transparency is defined as a picture viewed by light shining through it. And I hope that’s what is happening. We are weak enough, sick enough, broken enough to be transparent. If there is poetry, if there is beauty, if there is praise, it is because of the Light.

Light breaks through the clouds to reveal a clear and gorgeous sky.

And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. Ephesians 5:8


3 thoughts on “Transparency

  1. What a wonderful Mother and Godly woman you are! We don’t know what tomorrow holds for any of us but we do know who holds tomorrow! Praise God for what he has done and what he is going to do. Love and Prayers for you and your family especially for Marissa💕


  2. This is beautiful…thank you. We are walking this “cancer journey” also with our son. It forever changes you. The props, fluff, and temporal quickly fall away. He is glorified in our weak broken human vessels as we yield. As we keep our hands open to Him. May He continue to comfort and keep you❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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