They have hit her as hard as they can.
I can see the flash of something in their eyes–amazement and relief, I think, that she is still standing. They love her spunk and she is only 26 and every doctor realizes this is a battle for her life. So when they tell her they are giving her six weeks without treatment, her first response is panic. Her first response is no.
She is a fighter, my girl. I think about her childhood filled with dolls and books and singing, and I wonder where she learned these warrior skills. I wonder when God put courage and strength and endurance in her heart. Was it when she was formed or did He grow it inside of her or is He pouring it out on her now?
And it must be yes. Yes, to all three. They are gifts from her Father’s hand, and she wears them well.
She has had a couple of hard weeks. Fevers and blood transfusions and layers of skin falling off. Pain and weariness and tears. But radiation is done; that battle fought. Now it is time to recover, to rest. Now it is time to regain strength for battles ahead.
The timing of this rest keeps filling my heart. We will be home for Christmas, and Marissa will have her first real break in 14 months. Time to savor family and celebrate truth. Time to observe the light.
I long to associate Christmas with rest. I feel pulled by a thousand strings as I am jumping back into my life after being away for seven weeks. So much to be done, to catch up on. I am pushing away a feeling of panic. I am refusing to be frantic in my doing. I am determined not to be overwhelmed by to-do lists but to be overwhelmed by grace.
I know about Christmas–it’s in my heart. I know why He came, and I am grateful for the knowing. He came to rescue us from the overwhelming, frantic doing. It is never enough. We can never do enough or be enough to satisfy our own expectations or to satisfy God.
There is rest in that.
There is rest in a baby being a burden-bearer. There is rest in the satisfaction of God’s wrath when His Son died on a tree for our sin. There is rest in embracing truth and confessing truth and relying on truth.
There is rest in being rescued.
Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10,11
Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved. Acts 16:31