I’ve done many things I thought I couldn’t do. I’ve birthed nine babies and survived all the days of small ones. I’ve been up through the night with a sick child. I’ve been terrified of new things and overwhelmed by having too much to do. I’ve wept with heartache and sorrowed deep. I’ve walked with my daughter through cancer treatment.
But there was always rescue, always a window of relief. There was always grace for the moments, always hope.
Is there grace for this?
Is there grace for cancer? For cancer that isn’t going away? Grace for this level of pain? Grace for a mama’s deepest sorrow? Grace for suffering? For watching the suffering of your dear one?
I know there is grace for living. I have received grace in mothering, strength for each day. I have seen a glimpse of joy even in the hardest moments of life. I have been strengthened when weak and lifted when falling. I have breathed deeply and gratefully when a crisis has passed.
And still I wonder. Is there grace for this?
Because if faith means anything, it must mean grace for the things we cannot do. It must mean grace for the impossible. It must mean amazing grace, God-given grace, infinite and matchless grace.
It must mean grace for the hardest thing.
After six days in the hospital at Duke, Marissa is struggling to get back to a semblance of normal. Her lung function is compromised, so the whirr of the oxygen tank is a constant companion. With multiple liver lesions and malignant fluid in her chest cavity, she is always uncomfortable and often in pain. Before she was sick from the treatment for cancer, but now for the first time, she is sick from the cancer. She finally was able to start the trial drug one week ago, so now we wait. If it works against her cancer, she may gain a reprieve. If not, the cancer is growing every day.
If not, we face one of the hardest things.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Content with weakness? Content with hardship and calamity?
Yes, for the sake of Christ and so that His power will rest on us.
We are desperate for that power. The amazing truth is we are not abandoned in our weakness; we are made strong. We are not forsaken in the midst of calamity; we are blanketed by the greatest power. We have been invited into His fellowship of suffering, and we can let His power rest on us.
And when we are in a place where we feel we can’t go on? When we are trembling in our weakness? When our calamity is the deepest sadness of the heart?
He meets us there with strong and perfect grace.
Grace that is sufficient. Enough. Enough for the hardest thing.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Tracing His Goodness 
We continue to pray for you to know God’s grace and for each day’s strength.
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Yes, what amazing grace!
Please tell her that I am daily praying for her. I am praying for you too.
Thanks for the update.
Longing for the Rapture! What a day that will be!
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Tears, love, prayer and {{{{hugs}}}} for you and your family. . .
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We are interceding for you, Marissa, and your family at that Throne of Grace.
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We are praying for strength and grace for all of you!
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Love you guys! Prayers always.
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Praying for you and fully convinced that what God has promised, He will do–He will give strength to His people, and bless His people with peace. The grace that is greater than ALL our sin is sufficient for every storm.
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Yes, that grace is there, but, I would say, no it is not just “sufficient.” In my opinion, that may be one of the greatest understatements in modern translation. His grace is more than sufficient! It is abundantly far above all that we can ask and think. For we know Whom we have believed, and we are persuaded that He is able! Be persuaded! He is ALL Sufficient! Serious illness, cancer, the death of our Canaan…His grace has not just helped us limp to the mountaintops, His grace has helped us to climb onto eagle’s wings and soar above the mountaintops. The Lord is shining a very bright light on your family right now, but ultimately it is His reputation that is under the spotlight. The joy of the Lord is our strength! Love to all of you!
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Love and prayers that God, the All-Sufficient-One, will be your sufficiency in this.
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I’ve never met you or your sweet Marissa, but I just want you to know that she is daily in my prayers and often in my thoughts. My heart aches for you, and I have cried many tears. This verse was a comfort when walking through a cancer journey with my best friend.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. -Rom 8:18
Praying that our great God, Yahweh Rophe (The Lord Who Heals) will see fit to send healing to your beautiful daughter.
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Dear Colleen,
Belinda has kept the team here updated on Marissa’s status, but when she forwarded the link to me, I visited your site for the first time. I have wept over Marissa’s plight before, and I wept anew as I read your post. Please know that all of us Mt. Calvary folks here in Aibai are praying for Marissa and your family. I’m praying for each need in your family that I’m aware of. I pray that you will be comforted in the assurance of God’s tender care for each of you.
1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
Janice
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