The wondering

I grew up on a farm in upstate New York. We lived on a big hill–a little girl’s version of the top of the world. There were cows and chickens and windy meadows, an old rope swing that could lift your soul, and a daddy who laughed.

My mom loved to watch the sun as it dropped low behind the hill each evening. The sky with its vibrant colors at end of day brought quiet joy to her busy days, and she rested in the God who painted it. She smiled at the future through strength and weakness, sickness and sorrow, and blessings scattered all around.

She is smiling still, though frail and worn. She has seen a lot of sunsets. She has said good-bye to many joys and wished a few times for journey’s end. But she’s had ninety-five years of trusting the One who paints His landscapes and spins the world and shepherds His people.

Ninety-five years of changing skies.

She broke her arm recently, and I am here with her. There are so many similarities to Marissa–oxygen tank and wheelchair, weakness and pain. And there is also the beauty of a life well-lived and the expectation of a future home where all is well.

An enduring spirit and faith in a God who safely keeps.

I suppose it is natural to wonder why Marissa was given only 26 years while my mother has been given almost 96. It is natural to wonder about so many things, and I don’t think God is disappointed or surprised when we wonder.

He put in us the wondering.

It is the wondering that invites us to seek Him. It is the wondering that draws us to the ancient God-words of truth.

So let us wonder about the things we do not know while we rest in those we do. Let us wonder in the breath-taking moments, and let us wonder in the hard.

Let us wonder in the changing color of our skies.

But in our wondering, let us seek truth.  Let us rest in God who has always been and will always be. Though the earth shakes, He does not move. Through every darkened sky, He changes not. In the midst of every despair, He loves fiercely and loyally. He keeps us and He carries us. He knows all things and faithfully fulfills His promises. He causes all things to work for good.

In our wondering, let Him speak.

In our wondering, let us find Him.

Let Him open our eyes to the beauty found in changing skies.

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25

Whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “The wondering

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