The year is rolling forward.
As much as I would have liked to stay in the hazy glow of December, the January days are passing. The calendar is filling up with events and appointments. Lists are being made, and we have reluctantly started back to school and work and activities.
Life moves along and takes us with it, however sluggish we feel. Like a branch floating on the river, bumping into rocks and getting sidetracked and even stuck on the way to a place it doesn’t know.
This new year is filled with places we don’t know.
I’m always a little slow embracing it, slow to jump on the wagon of new things. It overwhelms me–the thought of improving every weakness. I am weary just thinking about lists and charts and organizational tasks–they are not my strength.
I wait awhile.
I know where my soul is going. I know what my heart needs. I know that I don’t want my time or my energy spent on things that are not eternal.
I want my treasures to be heavenly.
I know God intends to continue conforming me to the image of His Son. There is so much work to do, but there is also this staggering, encouraging truth.
That work is God’s. He has promised to complete it.
I try to have a focus word for each year. I have been resisting the word that keeps coming to me.
How can I be fearless when I know the worst can happen? How can I not be afraid of the dark places that I have known and that might come again? How can I live without fear of pain in this life?
But the word keeps whispering to me. Fearless. And in the darkness of a cold, foggy morning, it comes to me. If I cannot be fearless, I can fear less. Trust more.
And it feels like a good word. A good theme for this new year. I will not be afraid of my story. Even though it has not always been happy, and the chapters are sometimes hard to read.
Even though the monsters under the bed can be real sometimes.
Even though this last chapter has me weeping.
I can choose to trust. I can settle my heart in truth.
I can keep moving along, keep walking my path.
I can even smile at the future.
Because I trust God with the story and all of its details.
I will not be afraid.
For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. Proverbs 31:25